FAMILY RELATIONSHIP HEALTH - THE SURREPTITIOUS FAMILY SECRET THAT NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT
We are an extremely aware and educated generation. With the age of the internet, we can research just about any topic, and one of the most popular and researched topics is how to improve our health. We search for herbal remedies, organically grown everything, workout programs, meditation programs, skin care, internal cleanses and the list goes on. Because our personal health is very important to us! Our physical health, our mental health, our emotional health have all garnered much attention as the internet search numbers have proven and there seems to be a variety of wonderful supports for all of those aspects of our health. But, what about the very important yet very overlooked aspect of FAMILY RELATIONSHIP HEALTH?
Yes. At the very root of what forms us and shapes us and prepares us for life is Family Relationship Health. The great importance of family relationship health is actually one of the key components to our existence! Healthy relationships within a family dynamic will encourage healthy relationships outside of the family. It will support good mental and emotional health which will lead to a person making better choices and treating others better. It can mitigate the anger and depression issues that seem to be plaguing our society more and more. This seems so simple yet good family relationship health seems to be one of the biggest challenges that we continue to struggle with. Why is that?
Generation after generation, the cycle of negative behavior control methods continue to be used. Parenting is usually done in a reactive mode and will include the following negative methods of behavior control or correction: yelling, making threats, hitting, intimidation, guilt-trips, or just plain ignoring the behavior. Raise your hand if you have ever used one of these methods or have been on the receiving end of one of these methods. I know my hand is raised! Yet none of these negative methods will lead to positive results or good family relationship health! So why do we keep using them? Why does this cycle continue?
The simple answer is that we don't know any other way. This is just how it's always been. In 1946, Dr Benjamin Spock first wrote and published The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, which for the first time really brought to light, the need to change parenting methods. However, his logic in many ways also backfired as his suggestion to be more lax with children went to the extreme and caused a whole new host of issues. This also caused a great divide amongst parents who chose opposite sides when it comes to discipline and effective child behavior management. There are the believers in firm disciplinary action where yelling, hitting and threats seem to be the only effective solution that they believe works. They feel this is the ONLY way to teach a child how to be respectful. And then there are the believers in the Dr Spock way of life, where you spare the rod and spoil the child. They feel that being nice to your child all of the time is the ONLY answer. And yet, we are experiencing an unfortunate and obvious surge in angry, disrespectful, depressed and entitled children who are the leaders for the next generation so it's clear that neither side is exactly right and both parenting styles done in the extreme can absolutely lead to a disruption in good family relationship health.
Then the blame game kicks in. It's his fault. It's her fault. It's the televisions fault. It's the video games fault. It's always easier to blame someone else or outside influences instead of looking at the real core reasons. We all need to take a very serious look at how a family dynamic affects our mental and emotional health. Because once the health of any family relationship becomes toxic, without measures to correct it, it leads to many, many issues that we are spending millions on, trying to correct. Drug and alcohol abuse, sexual abuse, depression, suicide, bullying, poor mental health, homelessness, divorce and much more. When you really look at the root of many of these problems, if we are to be brutally honest here, many have started from the start and at home base and with ourselves.
IS THERE ANY SOLUTION??
Yes! There are actually many wonderful solutions! We can start making a conscience effort to be better and do better! Mindfulness programs are a great support for people to learn and use and they are making a big difference! Positive parenting solutions are the focus for many behavior management consultants and parenting experts! There are classes, programs, webinars, books, video's and more on suggestions and solutions that a parent can use. For many busy families though, they would just like a simple system that is easy to use, doesn't take time out of their busy schedules, is easy to learn and to implement, and is readily available and super effective. A highly recommended solution for many families, is a proactive system and an innovative parenting strategy called THE RED CARD BLUE CARD GAME! (www.redcardbluecardgame.com) It seems too simple right? A card game? But, this little box of cards is packed full of wonderfulness, behavior management magic and is an amazing support tool for improved family relationship health! It is one of the most respectful ways to correct behavior and eliminates the need for yelling, making false threats, hitting, intimidation, bribing, coddling, ignoring or "plugging in" a child in order to get effective results with behavior control and correction. It bridges the divide between parents and their parenting style as it offers a consistent system to follow. It solves the confusion of what to do "in the moment" because it is a parenting strategy that is in place before the moment even happens! It offers a balanced solution where consequences for actions are learned, and rewards are not just given, they'e earned. It gives the power back to the parent but also gives the power of choice to the child...which is very powerful indeed...so it's a win-win in the battle of the wills! It can be used in almost any situation and can be customized for the child. It teaches respect in a respectful way because the game incorporates the GOLDEN RULE, and it can be used to teach reading as well. And one of the best parts about this game, is because it's a game, KIDS ACTUALLY LOVE TO PLAY IT!! The power of play is a very important teacher for children!!
Is change possible? Can the negative parenting cycle be broken? Is there anything available that has been produced for the betterment of our FAMILY RELATIONSHIP HEALTH? The answer is absolutely YES!! And it's FUN to use!
Let's make our FAMILY RELATIONSHIP HEALTH as much of a priority as our other health concerns and we will see a big difference in the world! Change IS possible!
For more information about THE RED CARD BLUE CARD GAME, go to www.redcardbluecardgame.com
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